


A good man, a  man of worth.

by enormouseffort (orphan_account)



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-07 22:37:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21225371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/enormouseffort
Summary: Truth is, she is torn, unable to decide anything yet, living day by day while her worries fill her only to be ignored the minute he has her in his arms and looks at her with his blue eyes.  Worries forgotten, she allows herself to just live the moment with him, knowing that, either way, this few peaceful moments in his arms are not likely to last forever. Nothing does.





	A good man, a  man of worth.

James Fraser is a _good man_, a man of _worth_ if she ever met one. So far, he had done everything in his power to ensure her safety, and, if even if his methods were not always the best, Claire had to admit that he had the best intentions in mind. Most of all, he seemed to have learned from his mistakes and was trying to change his view regarding the traditions that he grew up with in order for her to live better with him, to feel comfortable and safe.

His life was not easy so far -having lost both parents, suffered greatly with Randall’s _punishment_, accusations of a crime he did not commit, lost touch with his sister- and Claire hopes that things get better for him. And that whoever comes after her knows and fully and appreciates him. Does what she is afraid to do: _choose him wholeheartedly and without any regret. _

She has been trying to decide what to do ever since she got in Leoch and more so now she is here for the second time (now, no longer as a widow, but as a wife, as a part of this place, the wife of the laird’s nephew). She needs to leave, eventually. Though, she cannot leave without telling him about the events to come, things that will change his life forever, things she can do to help him, to _protect_ him, to maybe prevent him from losing those he loves, from losing his life. It is the very least she can do to him.

But how can she warn him of the dangers to come without divulging her secrets to him? Without saying that she is from the future? Without having to look him the eye and tell him that everything he knows will crumble to pieces? that his children will live in a world different than his? That is if he ever has children. If he doesn’t _die _like many others most certainly will in the years before, during and after the fateful battle. 

_Would he remarry -s_he wonders- _after I’m gone? _

Somehow, the thought of him with someone else makes her head spin, her stomach sink and sends ice through her veins. She shakes her head, curls dancing with the wind, and frowns at the thought of him and another woman, being with anyone else in the way he was with her and she with him. Apparently, leaving him will be harder than she ever expected. 

But then, she had not counted on appreciating his company so much or looking forward to waking up in his arms, stealing kisses and glances during the day or loving him at the nights and any other chance they can get. She never counted on caring for him, cherishing him, loving him. 

_Loving him?_

_Yes, loving him. _

The rational side of her is screaming at her to go, to go back to the relative safety of her time -a time with its own dangers, much different than the dangers from this time, but safer than this one. But another part, equally, if not stronger, begs her to stay. Begs her to stay and loves this selfless man she is sure she could never forget in all her years to come, this man she doubts she could ever live without. Still, she has a husband on the other side. And one here. two husbands, two rings, two lives. 

Truth is, she is torn, unable to decide anything yet, living day by day while her worries fill her only to be ignored the minute he has her in his arms and looks at her with his blue eyes. Worries forgotten, she allows herself to just live the moment with him, knowing that, either way, this few peaceful moments in his arms are not likely to last forever. Nothing does. 

A while later, she is given a choice. He gives her a choice. He could have ignored her story, dismissed it as lies, madness, or worse, witchcraft. He could have just taken her anywhere else with him, or even back to be burned with Geillis. But no, he listened to her, comforted her, and took her to the place she wanted to be the most ever since the early days of May. 

Now, she has a choice. 

Both parts continue to scream at her, beg her and pull her in their direction. 

What side can she choose? 

In the end, the choice was as easy as breathing, as if it was not even a choice at all, even if, deep down, _it was_. 

She can’t do it without him, not now that she knows him, that she loves him. She chooses this stubborn red-headed highlander and prays to whoever listened to her, that Frank found some comfort and moved on in his own time. 

For she would, most certainly, not be able to move on from this man, who holds her as if she is his entire world, just as he is hers.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
